so that wasnt chicken after all
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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