I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
