just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if i can run in heels then i can drive
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she looked like the before picture.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
