i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
