I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
