some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
