What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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