Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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