Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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