The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
