Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
