I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
