the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
