he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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