so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
