How'd it feel making her break her religion?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
