I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Buhtt sex?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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