so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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