thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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