look no pants
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
