I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
