you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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