Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
