So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
