What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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