I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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