But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
