i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
