Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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