i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
