names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
