His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
