im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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