New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
