why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
