Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
