TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
