When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
