that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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