i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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