I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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