just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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