Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
