Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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