it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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