thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
