He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
