Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
