But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
