it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
